The final entry
by kidishcaresh
Summary: WARNING: CHARACTER DEATH! "Yes…it's time…I'm done now…I can…finally….sleep…" he breathed. I could only watch and cry as the light left his slowly closing eyes and the last of the five greatest men of our history was no more.


**Title: The final entry.**

**Author notes: I got this idea today out of the blue and it was so sad it made me cry and so I'm sharing it with you all. It was hard to write. Especially the end and the bit with Duo because I kept having to cry over what I wrote.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC's.**

**Summary: "Yes…it's time…I'm done now…I can…finally….sleep…" he breathed. I could only watch and cry as the light left his slowly closing eyes and the last of the five greatest men of our history was no more. WARNING CHARACTER DEATH! **

**Chapter 1,**

Death; most fear it. Some long for it. Others accept it. As for me; it surprised me. It surprised me that I am the last one. It surprised me in how it would come to be a fact.

For one no one ever expected that out of all five of us Trowa Barton would die first. Somehow I'd always assumed I'd be one of the first or perhaps Duo whom had just as many ghosts as I did. I'd expected it to be anyone of us really…just not him.

Cathrine called me the evening it happened. She was very much upset and grief-stricken. She told us that someone had sabotaged the circus. That it wasn't supposed to be him. That it was a horrible accident.

Cathrine had sprained her ankle that afternoon and Trowa would fill in for her during the show that night as she couldn't use her right foot due to the sprain. He'd been up fifty meters in the air on the high wire and plummeted right down to his death. Someone had cut the wire. Barton had made to land in the net in perfect form, but found out that it too had been sabotaged as his body burst right through it and hit the ground with a deafening blow. He'd died before his body fully hit the ground. His head and shoulders landed first.

His funeral was small and only Cathrine and the circus crew and the four of us had attended. Quatre was devastated by the news; as was Duo. I couldn't quite grasp it yet at the time. Duo hung on me through most of it and swore to hunt down and murder whoever did it. Perhaps that is why I failed to see it. Perhaps in his grief-stricken state Quatre too had not noticed; looking back though I could see why he hadn't…

It was Heero who left us second. We received a call from his current college's principal. It'd been a quick and painless death. One moment he'd been taking notes and the next he slumped over; he was dead before anyone got to him. Autopsy proved that he had been long suffering from a medical condition induced by continuous strain put on him by piloting a gundam. His death surprised us all as none of us had seen it during Barton's funeral…we'd all been too absorbed in our own grief to see…

Quatre took care of Heero's funeral and his wishes. He insisted I'd be there for Duo as he'd need me now more than ever. As I said I should've seen it coming; sadly I did not. I agreed that Duo needed me and perhaps, though I'd never admit it, I needed Duo too. The deaths of two of my gundam brothers in less than a year's time had hit me hard.

Duo leaned on me and I leaned right back and perhaps that was how Quatre managed to pull it off. We didn't know until it was too late. Rashid personally came to tell us. Quatre had committed suicide. Some searching later through his personal belongings and computer yielded the answer as to why.

_When you see this I'm most likely no longer alive. I apologize Wufei and Duo for taking this way out and for not letting you know about it. I felt you would have stopped me if I had._

"Damn straight we woulda." Duo murmured leaning on my shoulder as we watched.

_I didn't just decide on this last night or however long ago it will be when you find this video file. I'd been told I was incurably ill a day before news reached me of Trowa's death. I'd been very upset by that news as well as my own soon to come death. I was given a year at most. When I learned that Heero died of the same condition I'd already been thinking of doing this. It was only a matter of the right moment. So I selfishly made sure that you Wufei would be too busy trying to help Duo through all this and I hoped that this would keep you both from seeing my struggles. Considering you're watching this I suppose I was successful. I hope it will make the pain a little bearable for you to know that I am at peace with my decision. I wish you both a long and fulfilling life my dear friends and know that I am happy now and will wait for you both to join Trowa, Heero and I in whatever awaits us after life._

Duo and I cried openly at this heartfelt video. After this Duo and I leaned on each other even more and I did all I could to keep Duo from dying as Quatre had. I convinced him to join me at preventors when I found out that Hilde had run out on him with the twenty grand credits Duo kept in his pillow for emergencies. As time went on we both began to enjoy our even stronger friendship. We both agreed to live each day one at the time and not think of the future.

In hindsight perhaps that was best as Duo wasn't long for this world either. Five years had passed since Quatre's death and Duo and I had begun to think about growing old and having a family of our own. Duo had even begun dating again as I went about making plans of my own.

It'd been a rather hard mission on us both. We'd been sent to a suspect organization to demolish it from the inside out and had been captured twice before, beaten countless times and then some. We'd finally made it out when a stray agent of the organization we'd just demolished found us and opened fire on us. I'd pulled Duo behind me, but at the last second he'd forced us to switch places. I shot the perp over Duo's shoulder, but couldn't prevent him from firing. The bullet went through Duo's body and lodged itself between two of my ribs.

Duo slumped down and I yelled angrily. First I'd yelled at him for his stupidity, then I'd tried to stop the bleeding while cursing and finally I'd ended up begging him to stay with me and not die on me.

"Fei…please…I'm tired…so very tired…" Duo had whispered.

"I know Duo, just be quiet and focus on staying alive…don't die on me I beg of you please!" I'd said crying bitter tears for I knew it was useless.

"P-please Fei…'m tired of fighting….fighting all my life…I…just want to sleep…" Duo whispered. He was fading fast.

"Duo…alright…no more talking…sleep now my friend…" I whispered through my tears. Duo smiled weakly and tried to say something. I smiled sadly and shook my head. I already knew. I began to sing softly a lullaby my mother had sung for me so long ago. Duo loved to hear it; said it kept the nightmares at bay.

By the time Une's medical troops finally arrived Duo was dead. I had stitched up his wounds feeling it was the least I could do. Une tried to claim his body, but I told her plainly that she could walk off a cliff for all I cared. Duo's body was going to L2 to be buried at the Maxwell Church remnants with the father, sister and the orphans.

I spent the next six months away from work and refused to answer any of Une's calls. Finally Sally had come to my house; most likely to determine if I was still alive. I assured her that I had no intention of committing suicide in the foreseeable future or ever if I could help it and eventually agreed to let her visit me weekly to keep an eye on me. I spent most of those six months being visited by Sally to ease her mind and working out the various aspects of the last will and testament Duo left as well as dealing with the last bits of what the other three had left in their will that was yet to be seen to.

I'd begun to arrange my own life and cut ties with my annoying earth bound relatives. They were insistent I marry one of their women and fulfill my duties. The depression I'd fallen into after Duo's death was easier to ignore by keeping busy and it proved to Sally that I wouldn't do anything rash.

Almost two years after Duo's death I felt I had things sorted out pretty well. I worked on various pet projects of mine. I'd gotten used to having Sally come over for dinner on Fridays. I'd stopped going to work after Duo's death. It just didn't work out. Every time I looked at my office I was reminded of how my friends would never come kidnap me to have dinner at some random place where the waitress would always mix up the orders thinking Heero and I were the health nuts of the group.

No more unwanted sage advice from Duo on how to live a good life. No more Quatre calling about the so manieth celebration of whatever important moment of our lives that he felt deserved an anniversary party. No more Trowa popping in unexpected baring my secret weakness strawberry pocky. No more calls from Heero for help with his college homework. He had trouble with his history and languages sometimes and I'd offered to help; I enjoyed tutoring him.

Sally understood and so did Une. It was just too painful to be there. So Une gave me the order to take a nice long vacation and not come back till I felt secure in doing so and Sally insisted on stopping by on Fridays with my other secret weakness greasy burgers. I looked forward to Fridays now. I enjoyed the time with Sally a lot. I'd eat my greasy burger as she'd tell me the latest happenings at Preventors. It was one of these Fridays some two years after Duo's death that my life took an unexpected turn…or rather a turn I pretty much anticipated. Still…it did hit me hard.

Sally had just come over for her weekly visit that day.

"Wufei?" she said staring at me over the bag of greasy burgers she held out to me.

"Yes?" I asked wondering what troubled her.

"You look worse than last I saw you. Are you eating well? Do you sleep enough? I could get you some sleeping aids if you have nightmares." she said closing the door behind her and pushing me toward my small living room.

"I feel find woman. I eat balanced like you suggested and I sleep the allotted 8 hours a night." I said shaking my head and snatching the bag of burgers out of her hands.

"That's good. Still you look pale and you seem…I don't know." she went on.

"Woman I am fine, now tell me how is Une holding up? Still terrorizing her personnel?" I asked hoping she'd drop the subject of my current health. I did after all truly feel just fine. A little stiff in the morning and often slightly tired, but nothing out of the ordinary.

"Naw, she's turned her focus toward our trainees." Sally said laughingly. She launched into a lengthy story and told me all about the new training program Une had developed and how most of the trainees ESUN had provided them wouldn't know the barrel of a gun from a jack knife. She told me about how Une had invited a delegation of ESUN to the training school to let them see what their nitwits could do. It took three of the delegation team nearly getting skewered, turned into Swiss cheese and run over before the whole group agreed that Une should be given control of the screening process.

It'd been early in the evening when Sally got ready to go home.

"You really don't look good Wufei…are you sure you feel fine?" she said as I escorted her to the door.

"I honestly feel fine; better than I have in a long while." I assured her. Sally nodded to this and turned to leave. Just before she did though she turned back and gave me another worried glance.

"Wufei…" she began.

"Will you stop worrying if I agree to go see a doctor?" I asked. I knew she was truly worried and wouldn't rest at all if I didn't. To be honest though I felt uneasy by her repeatedly telling me I didn't look too well. I'd not bothered with a mirror in a few months. I wore my hair loose at home. I didn't know how I currently looked, but if she was worried then I'd do anything to set her mind at ease. Even visit a doctor loath it as I may.

"It would set my mind at ease." she said relieved. I realized then that she'd wanted me to see a doctor, but hadn't wanted to outright say it. Given my stubborn nature that was no real surprise.

"Fine then, you'll have to drive me there though." I said grabbing my coat and wallet.

Several hours later the doctor and a whole slew of nurses had come to see me and scans of every kind, x-rays, ultrasones and then some were made and debated. I felt like I'd had to give so much blood that I was running on empty now. A grand total of 12 tubes had been taken and sent away for testing. After all that they'd strapped me to a hospital bed with all sorts of medical equipment attached to my person and told me to rest up a bit. Sally came to see me, but could tell me little else then that she'd be back soon and they were running tests still.

True to her word Sally visited me every day while I lay in my hospital bed waiting for the doctor to come tell me what I had. I had had to give more blood over the course of the past twenty-one days and quite frankly I was becoming quickly crankier as this situation dragged on.

"Hey there, how are you feeling?" Sally said cheerfully as she entered my room and brandished a bag of burgers she'd snuck past hospital security.

"I feel tired. I'm sick of lying in this damn bed, the nurses and doctors are all obscenely nice to me and give me everything I want…everything except a diagnosis." I grumbled.

"Oh Wufei…" Sally had whispered covering her face with her hands.

"Woman…tell me. What is wrong with me?" I said firmly. Sally looked up looking very upset now.

"You…have a condition induced by piloting a gundam suit and-" she began, but I interrupted her.

"I have the same condition as Quatre and Heero and probably Duo and Trowa had. Call a doctor. I'm leaving." I said angrily.

"Wufei…" Sally gasped shocked.

"Woman I know what this condition is. It's terminal, it will be the death of me and I'm wasting my precious time in this hospital bed on medicine and getting tested upon when they could be putting their resources to use on someone who does stand a chance in hell to live past their thirtieth." I said calmly.

"Okay, I'll get the doctor." Sally said.

She had too. The doctor insisted of course on my signing a medical waiver so they couldn't be held responsible for my untimely death. I signed it and left. Sally had driven me home upon my request and stayed the night. I let her do so as I locked myself in my prayer room.

_Sucks don't it?_ I sighed as I felt more then saw Duo lean against the windowsill.

"I suspected as much…but it still does suck as you put it." I murmured not wanting Sally to hear and think I'd lost it.

_Won't be long now; you'll join us yes?_ Trowa asked from Duo's left. I smiled warmly.

"I suppose I will…eventually." I answered truthfully.

_Not now though? _Quatre asked from beside Trowa.

"Not now. I'm not ready yet." I said nodding.

_We'll be here. We're waiting for you my friend. _Heero said from behind me to the right.

"I know. You'll have to be patient though. I will come to you my friend; when I'm done." I whispered.

The next morning Sally and I had breakfast together.

"Why didn't you stay at the hospital?" Sally asked.

"It'd be a waste of a perfectly good bed someone else might need more then I do. I've researched this condition when I found out Heero died from it. It's terminal, medicine will only prolong the inevitable so long. Since Trowa's death I've been forced to accept my mortality time and again. I'm completely at peace with this, but I won't die until I'm good and ready to. I've still got much that needs to be done." I said.

"Fighting this bitch till the end huh?" Sally said laughing despite the gravity of it all.

"Damn right….you'll…stay right?" I said thinking for a while and deciding I'd need her help before long as my condition progressed.

"Of course I will." Sally said firmly.

"Will you? It won't be easy. I…need your help very much…will you really stay with me?" I asked knowing I was asking a lot of her.

"I've already called in every bit of leave I have and all of the favors Une owes me still. I can stay with you for as long as you need me to." Sally said determined. I nodded.

"Till the end then." I said decidedly.

"Till the end." Sally echoed my words.

"I made a list. Of things I need to arrange and do first. It's all on there. When it's done I'll be ready. When the final item on the list is done…I'll go." I said. I felt strangely at peace right then. Sally gave me a sad look and took the list I'd held out. She read it and nodded.

"It'll take a lot of traveling, but I think we can manage." she said.

The next month I spent most of my time arranging my own funeral and having Rashid bring my will to me.

"It's all in there. You'll see to it that they do it right?" I asked Sally.

"I'll do it myself if they won't." Sally said smiling. She been staying with me the past month and helping me handle things. Gradually as time passed I began to tire quicker. I had decided it was because I'd stopped sleeping. I just didn't feel like it. I felt I'd need as much time as I still had left and sleeping would waste it.

"Good. Next on my list is visiting some people and graves." I said crossing off paperwork on my list.

"We'll do that this week. The weather should stay well and I got us a private interplanetary vessel." Sally said smiling.

That week I went to each of my friends' graves to pay my final respects and I visited Cathrine to give her Trowa's journal. I visited Relena and gave her Heero's with the express promise to keep it safe and make sure Sally got it when she finished reading it so Sally could keep the five journals together. I gave Une the box of less than legal trinkets left by each of us five from our war days. Heero's specially made extra strong gundanium enforced gun, Trowa's daggers, Quatre's goggles and the short swords he used to carry during the war, Duo's self made scythe that could retract into a pocket sized bundle and fold out to a strong weapon and some of his eh toys. Mostly ones that could at one time explode but had long since been defused and finally my own sword. She promised to give these an honorary spot in the best secured display case money could buy. I was thankful for that. They might have been a little less then legal to own, but they were precious to us all. I'd have been sad if she had them destroyed. I'd visited Dorothy and punched her in the face as I'd sworn I would after learning what she'd done to Quatre in her hunger for victory; none of us had ever forgiven her. I'd given Rashid Quatre's journal and Howard Duo's. I arranged lastly a meeting with someone I'd been having business with before I found out about my condition.

"I see. I'm glad you took the trouble to visit and tell us personally." The woman said smiling sadly. She left with Sally in tow to fetch me some tea and tell Fei I was visiting. Fei was a petit Chinese girl who'd lost her lower arm during the war when she was only 3 and who I'd been in the midst of adopting until I learned I too was ill like the others were.

I had never felt as tired and upset as I did when the now seven year old Fei had cried herself to sleep on my lap. I only had one more thing on my list of things to do. One more item before I would let myself give in to my sickness. Then Sally had returned and grabbed my list of things from my hand. She scribbled down two more lines above the last item.

"You have to stay alive a little while longer Wufei. You have 2 extra things to do." Sally said looking more hopeful then I'd seen her in a long while. I accepted the list back and stared at the items.

To do list:

120: Marry Sally Po

121: Adopt Fei

122: final visit

I blinked and read it again then looked at Sally ready to question her sanity.

"Please? I know you've little time, but I want to do this. It's something I can do for you. There's still a way to adopt her before you've no more time, but you'll need to marry me so I can assume legal guardianship upon your death." Sally said. I think I cried. I was very much moved by her willingness to do this for me. Marrying someone was something big. That she'd marry me to let the adoption go through and care for the girl I'd wanted to adopt after I was gone was indescribably much bigger than anything else.

"A-are you sure?" I asked disbelievingly.

"Yes, I want to adopt her Wufei. She's very sweet and I can tell why you wanted. It would mean so much to me if you'll do this and let me do something for you other then follow you around as you complete your list. She deserves this chance you gave her, now let me continue giving her that chance." Sally said. I nodded my agreement. I was too tired to even begin thinking of reason why this was a fools thing to do let alone argue the point.

Sally's father made it from earth to L2 in record time and performed the quickest wedding ceremony in history. Sally then finished the adoption of Fei who had then said her goodbyes and gone with Sally's father back to earth while Sally and I headed for my last visit. My wife's grave on the rebuilt L5.

After my visit to Mei-ran's grave where I asked her for forgiveness and for blessings for my new daughter and her new mother Sally took me home. Once we got there it was no miracle to me that she crashed and fell right asleep on the couch.

I left her there and headed to my prayer room. It looked empty without my shrine and belongings there. I stared out the window at the moon. It was something the five of us had had in common. We all appreciated the beauty of the moon from earth.

_It's time Wufei. _Quatre said. This time I could almost feel his hand on my shoulder. I was so very tired.

"Not yet…almost…it's almost time, but not yet…" I whispered tiredly as I sunk to the floor.

_You've finished your list my friend, what more must you do? _Heero asked sitting next to me.

"There's…one more thing…one more…" I murmured. My breathing was becoming shallower.

_Ain't you done enough yet Fei?_ It was Duo's voice that spoke this time. I felt his kind embrace like I had so many times.

"Maybe…but…I promised myself…not yet…" I breathed almost soundlessly. I could hear her footsteps from the living room. Hear her calling worriedly.

_We'll be here for you Wufei, we'll all be waiting for you. Come soon. It's your time now. _Trowa said quietly.

"Soon….Very…soon…" I said nodding weakly.

"Wufei?" Sally's voice came from outside the door. She pushed it open without waiting for an answer and froze.

**Sally's POV**

I woke up from the first real night's sleep in years and stared at the empty living room. Only the couch had been left and I'd slept on it. The house was deadly silent and I felt a sense of dread in my stomach. I quickly got up and called for Wufei. I got no answer though and feared the worst. I ran to his prayer room where he usually was at this time and called again. I still received no answer, but heard him talking to probably himself. His voice was very weak and I felt my heart ache.

"Wu…fei…" I said gasping the last half of his name. Wufei was sitting on the ground under the window and looked so very frail sitting there. His eyes were glazed over and he murmured quietly that he couldn't go yet. The light of the moon fell through the window and bathed the room in an almost unearthly glow. I later told myself I'd been seeing things, but I could've sworn the other four pilots were sitting around him holding him close as he sat there taking his final breaths.

"Woman…Sally…" Wufei breathed weakly. I walked over unable to contain my tears.

"Wufei…" I murmured trying to ignore the pain in my chest.

"I'm…I'm…so tired…so very tired…" he whispered trying and failing to reach out.

"I'm here Wufei. I'll stay like I promised. Till the end." I said taking his hand in mine.

"Thank…you…please…don't…cry…I…finished…t-the list…it's time…" he whispered pushing a small black notebook into my hand.

"It's time…Oh Wufei!" I said as the tears ran down my face and I held the book against my chest.

"I'm…not scared….they're waiting…won't you….can I…" he whispered staring at me his glazed eyes pleading. I let his hand go and whipped away the tears from my eyes, but it didn't help much. I couldn't stop crying.

"It's time Wufei…It's time my little brother…go on…your brothers are waiting…" I said just barely managing to say the words.

"Yes…it's time…I'm done now…I can…finally….sleep…" he breathed. I could only watch and cry as the light left his slowly closing eyes and the last of the five greatest men of our history was no more.

**That's all she wrote. **


End file.
